Guilt
by Shelly Webster
Summary: Set after 5x07
1. Chapter 1

Story is set after 5x07 and conversation Gain and Holly had. I own nothing.

Holly left the building with a very bitter taste in her mouth and feeling like she was kicked to the stomach. She loved seeing Gail, she was grateful she apologized, but she also felt scared of letting Gail in again. Gail was not the only one who was hurt before and who had issues with opening up. Holly was the same, but unlike Gail, she knew to hide it better. She knew how to pretend and make sure very few people knew real Holly Stewart. She knew how people saw her. Some saw her as a hot doctor, some knew her as a science nerd, some knew her as a passionate lover, some knew her as a devoted friend, but very few saw all that together or even more. She gave Gail more. She let her see her sad, scared, happy, sleepy, tired, cuddly, passionate, even kinky in some moments. Gail saw it all and then she left her. She herd her talking to her friends and it all fell apart. She knew it was her fault, but Gail never let her say how sorry she was and how bad she felt about things that happened. She called, she left messages and after more than a month, she gave up. Gail didn't love her anymore. She didn't care. She never said or wrote a word to what Holly said and wrote to her.

And now, she saw her and Gail said all these things. Holly got into her car and drove home. She called Lisa and told her she wouldn't be coming to her little get together. Lisa protested, but knew better than to fight with her. They were on very thin ice after the incident with Gail, so Lisa kept her words in check. Holly went to bed and around two in the morning her phone rang. It was her work phone and she was surprised. It was not her night to be on call. She answered it as she usually does.

''Dr. Stewart…''

''This is Officer Epstein….Dove….''

''I know…. What is going on? I'm not on call tonight….''

''I know… This is personal….Gail…''

She was awake and sitting in her bed.

''What happened?''

''There was shooting…. Gang related… she… She got shot in the chest….''

''With what? What penetrated her west?''

''Nothing… She didn't have it. Some officers said she got into the shooting just in her shirt. Officer Hart thinks she didn't get it on purpose.''

''She tried to get herself killed?''

''I am not sure…. She changed a lot since that night you… Broke up? And today she was very weird after seeing you…''

''Where is she?''

''In General hospital. She is in surgery…''

''I'll be there.''

She jumped out of the bed and changed into something other than her pajamas. Drive to the hospital lasted too long if you asked her. She was so tired and so worried. When she got there, she saw a lot of people they worked with sitting in the waiting room. Steve, Tracy, Andy and Sam were standing near the door of the operating block. She went to say hi to them.

''Any news?''

''No, nothing…''

''How bad is it?''

Steve looked at Holly. His eyes were red and full of tears.

''Very bad . I can't repeat what I heard, it zoned out, but they did seem worried. ''

Holly nodded and looked around for nurse or someone who could tell her. She got message from Rachel telling her that Lisa is very disappointed she didn't come and that she even got a date for Holly that night. Holly knew she will not give up that easily on setting her up with someone. Surgery lasted for six hours. As the time went by, they were getting more and more nervous. A nurse came out to talk to them.

''Excuse me, how is she?''

''I'm sorry sir; I am not allowed to give any information. Doctor will be here soon. I am here to find her spouse.''

Steve looked at the nurse.

''Spouse?''

''Yes, the name is written in the spouse section….''

All of the people in the waiting room were shocked by that. They had no idea she was married…. Holly was shocked. She didn't know that she was married. _Did Gail do to her same thing Chloe did to Dove?_ She remembered how Gail was angry at Chloe about Dove and all that.

''Who are you looking for?''

''I'm looking for Holly Stewart….''

They all turned to face her and Holly couldn't believe her ears. Did she hear her own name? She got up and approached the nurse.

''I'm Holly Stewart.''

''Follow me Ms. Stewart….''

She went after the nurse and they dressed her into surgical gown and gave her mask and all she needed. Gail was in intensive care and she was very pail and weak. Her vitals were bad and she was hooked to all kinds of machines and tubes. She couldn't believe how slam and weak she looked. There was almost no color in her skin. She sat by the bed and took Gail's free hand. She squeezed it and kissed her knuckles.

''Why did you do it? You are foolish person Gail Peck… And when you wake up, I'll kill you with my bare hands and dispose of your body in some creative way… Do you hear me?!''

Her monologue was interrupted by the doctor…. He was reading some results when he entered the room…

''Mrs. Peck….''

He got his eyes off the chart and saw the woman sitting by the bed.

''Holly?''

''Ethan….''

''You're the wife?''

''Apparently….''

''I didn't know you got married. Last I heard was that you ended the relationship. Lisa was not very specific on the details .I know she was setting you up with someone recently. ''

''Your sister is piece of work, and I can't talk about it now…. I want to know about Gail…''

''I'm sorry…These are some results we got…''

Holly held out her hand.

''Can I see it?''

''Sure. You will find all that we have so far in that.''

She studied every word, every number and she felt sicker each moment.

''I'm sorry Holly….''

She wiped her tears away.

''It's not your fault.''

''It's so bad that I'm not sure if she would make it… I'm not sure she would survive the night even. We lost her almost five times in the surgery. She lost a lot of blood even before she got to the OR. She got blood transfusion, but her heard is weak. She has her lung punctured by one of the bullets. She is really hurt Holly. If she makes it, it will be miracle. ''

''I can't believe she might be gone…''

''I know, but you are a doctor. You know these things happen….It's all in the line of work.''

''It's not the same. It's not the same. I'm always sorry someone ends on my table, bit knowing that my… Gail might end on someone's is not making me happy.''

She got off the chair and wiped her tears.

''If she is going to die, I think her friends need to say their good byes.''

She got out of the OR block and found their friends.

''It's bad. They think she will not make it. We should… Be prepared for the worse. If you want to see her, go… Doctor will let you….''

They were getting into her room one by one and saying what they had to. As they would see her, they would leave the hospital in tears. No one was happy one of theirs was on the death bed. Few hours later, there were just few of them… Andy, Sam, Dove, Chloe, Chris, Steve, Tracy, Nick and Holly. They sat in silence. Nurse told them that it seemed she was disturbed by the visits so they should wait a little. There was silence no one dared to brake. Nick was first to speak.

''When did you get married?''

That was what all of them wanted to know. When did that happen and why were they not with two of them?

''We didn't.''

''What? You are listed as a spouse..''

''I know, but I'm not. She didn't speak to me in a month and today we had very disturbing encounter.''

''What happened?''

''She apologused and I dismissed her.''

''Why?''

She laughed to what she was about to say….

''I was afraid of losing her again. That is a bit ironic…''

''No, it's not.. I know my sister is not an easy person to be around, but she does love you. She listed you as an emergency contact.''

Chloe was next to speak.

''And you are listed as a wife, that is huge. That is the biggest thing Gail ever did. She made sure no one denies you your spot. ''

Nurse came again and looked for Holly.

''You need to sign some papers.''

She got out of the chair and went to the nurses' station. She sighed what they gave her and nurse came with a plastic bag. These are her belongings. She won't need them here.''

She thanked the nurse and then she remembered something.

''Can I ask you something?''

''Sure..''

''When was I listed as her spouse? I didn't know she did it..''

She looked into her papers and lifted her eyes to Holly.

''On March 16th. That morning she came and erased her brother to put you.''

''Thank you…'

Holly sat on a chair and started crying. Steve came to her and took a seat.

''How are holding up?''

''Barely….''

''Me too.''

''You got her stuff?''

''Yes, I did. There are some more things and uniform and stuff for the streets. ''

''Wanna open the bag?''

''Sure.''

They opened the bag and looked at her belongings; there were shreds of her uniform covered in blood, her nametag, her badge. They also found in one small bag. There was small plastic bag with gold chain Holly recognized. It was hers and she gave it to Gail. On that chain was small chross she got from her grandmother and a white gold band with small sapphire and two small diamonds on it. She opened it and took the ring. Tracy stood over her head and looked at it.

''It is beautiful…''

Andy also looked at it…

''I don't recognize it. There is something engraved.''

Holly took the ring and looked at inscription.

''Marry me, Nerd…. March 16th…''

Holly's eyes were full of tears…..She couldn't see more how wet her eyes were….

''She was going to ask me to marry her that night…. She changed me into her spouse in hospital records… I blew it all…''

Tracy, Andy and Chloe just stood looking at Holly. No one knew what to say. She never felt so sad and alone in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Holly went back to the room and sat by Gail. She had her ring and the cross in hands and she played with them. She still couldn't believe she wanted to propose. Gail wanted to marry her. Gail was ready to be wife and with her. She leaned and kissed Gail's forehead and cheeks.

''Wake up! Survive this! Don't be a cat… You promised you will always come home to me in one piece. Don't you dare break that promise to me Peck! You owe me Peck….''

Steve got her to eat something and have some coffee. He found her fiend Rachel in the hospital and he got her to be with Holly. He knew that sometimes it helped them as police officers to exchange strategies and ideas how to solve the crime when they are waiting for something to happen. He knew that talking to another doctor might help Holly to feel better or at least say what she feels. Rachel also sheared Holly's pain for seeing so many tragedies and pain. She could relate to these things. She got into Gail's room and found Holly curled up in the chair. She was watching Gail like hawk checking every machine, reacting to every beep.

''Hey, how is she?''

Holly couldn't believe her eyes. Rachel was there asking about Gail.

''Same… What are you doing here?''

''Her brother thinks you need someone to be here for you.''

''I do… Thank you…''

Rachel took the chart and looked at it. Her face didn't seem optimistic.

''This is bad Holly.''

''I know… I just can't believe this is happening. We could have had different night than this. Why was I so foolish? We could have been in bed having crazy sex and not here…''

''O.K. Lover… She still might make it. Her chances are slim, but you said your girl is a fighter…''

Holly smiled for the first time…

''She is… That night…when we were at Penny…She had a ring ready to propose to me.''

Rachel was surprised. She didn't see that coming that soon. She had new respect for Gail now. She was serious about Holly. Yes, she was much different from them. She was not a doctor, she was not in the same circles they were, but she was good to Holly and for her and Rachel knew to appreciate it. She noticed very sad look Holly had. Holly got the chain out of her pocket and showed it to Rachel.

''It's amazing… wow…. She really gave it some thought…''

''Why do you say that?''

''It's a wedding band… You wouldn't get the engagement ring so it doesn't tear the gloves. She knew you wouldn't take it off, so she did this…''

''That's Gail. She tends to surprise you with such a small details you don't even notice about yourself. That's what I love about her. She surprises me all the time. She keeps me wandering what is next and how far are we going…''

''I'm so sorry honey…''

''I know… Nothing can change the fact we missed it…''

''Holly, there is still hope…''

''Ethan is not that optimistic.''

''He is Lisa's brother, of course he is not…''

Holly smiled at the joke.

''You are right… There is still some hope…''

''Yes, there is… She is fighting, I can feel it…''

''I just want her back.''

''I know…''

Rachel took Holly's hand and led her to the door.

''Where are we going?''

''To eat. I must eat and so do you.''

''But, I can't leave her…''

''Yes, you can. She has her brother and friends here. I bet they also want some time with her. She is not only yours love… Let's go!''

They were sitting in the cafeteria and eating. Holly all the sudden looked at Rachel and said something that surprised both of them.

''I had major crush on you at med school.''

''What?''

''Yes, I did…''

''Oh… Why Holly?''

''You were hot, smart and sporty…''

''I do sound like perfect woman…''

''I know…You were perfect until I learned you were straight.''

''Yes, it seems you have a type…''

''Type?''

''Straight and crazy…''

''I do, don't I?''

''You do…''

''I don't think I ever thanked you for being there for me for all the crap.''

''Holly, we survived me and Richard, all the rest was piece of cake…''

''Until now…''

''Until now…''

There was long silence. Both women were lost in their thoughts and Rachel broke the silence.

''Can I ask you something?''

''Sure..''

''If that night went different, would you have said yes? Let's pretend she is fine and not hooked to million things. Would you be ready to marry her after two months of dating and six months of knowing her all together?''

Without thinking Holly gave her answer…

''Yes, I would have rambled about how it was too soon. How I'm the first woman she had been with and how I have no right to make her settle that soon….But in the end somewhere there I would have said yes…''

Holly finally convicted Rachel to get back to Gail. Rachel knew how hard it was for Holly, but she also knew Holly needed some time away from all that.

''Fine, let's see how is your girl..''

They got into the room and Steve stood by the bed with his hands up and face full of panic. Machines started beeping. Nurses and doctor run into the room and started working on Gail. She flat lined again and they lost her. Doctor decided to give up on the reanimation.

''Time of death, 11:30 AM.''

He turned to Holly and Steve.

''I'm sorry for your loss…''

Nurses started removing her from the machines. They got her IV out, her breathing tube all was out. Holly asked them just for the few minutes before they take her away. Since doctor knew her, he granted her to be with the body. Now there were no tubes and anything keeping her away from Gail. She kissed her lips and whispered how much she loves her. Holly closed her eyes in order to suppress the tears. She was so tired of this. She was tired of tragedies, death and pain she was facing every day. Steve, Andy and Nick got into the room. They were so sad for Holly and Gail. They felt so bad that they were missing their chance because they were too stubborn. Steve took Holly into his arms and held her tight. Holly kept holding Gail's hand not being able to let go. She felt so empty and lost. They were all crying and trying to be there for Steve and Holly.

''You promised you would be home to greet me and you were not… Why should I keep the promise?''

Holly lifted her head from Steve's shoulder and looked at Gail…. She was looking at them with her eyes opened and her voice was very weak. Holly wiped her tears away and approached the bed. Andy ran out to find doctor and nurses.

''You owe me Peck…''

''What?''

''I had to lie to the nurses and the stuff….''

''Lie about what?''

She got the chain out of her pocket…

''This…''

''Oh….You found it…''

''Yes, nurse gave us your things and I found it… I also know what it says in your chart…''

''The wife thing?''

''Yes, the wife thing…''

''I'm sorry you had to lie…''

''That's good…''

Gail made pretty sad face….

''Because I never want to lie about being married to you Gail. That is why you are going to get better and propose to me in the right way… I'm going to say yes and we are going to have a lot of sex .Then we will get married and live a nice life together… We are going to get a house, a dog and have two or three children. You will be off the streets in couple of years as a real heir to the Peck throne. You will kick Steve's ass in the race for your mom's spot. Hell, you will be even highly ranked than her. You will be my super white shirt wife and I will brag about my amazing wife…. Do you hear me?''

Gail's eyes were full of tears and even their friends were crying.

''Yes I do…''

''Good. I'm glad you do because I don't know how I would make it without you Gail.''

Doctor came to the room and he was in shock. She died few minutes ago and now she was back, she was alive. He examined her and she was back on the machines. He looked at Holly and he was glad she was getting her wife back.

''Your vitals are getting better, I think that tomorrow we could think about getting rid of some of the tubes and machines…''

They all felt relived she was back… Rachel stood and looked at two women and she knew what Holly meant when she talked about how Gail makes her dream big. Holly Stewart Rachel knew never dreamed about children and anything that was not work related. Rachel knew Holly had this side, but she never saw it until this day. …And she was proud of her friend.


	3. Chapter 3

In next few days, Gail was in and out. She was asleep for most of the time because of her pain meds. Her lungs and heart were healing very slowly, but she was getting better. Holly had to go back to work, so she would usually spend night in the hospital. During the day, Gail would wonder if Holly was really there and if all that conversation about marriage and kids really happened. She never dared to ask anyone because she didn't want pity. She believed that if Holly was never there and she asked for her, some of her friends and family would make sure she comes to the hospital and Gail believed she would do it out of pity. Tracy, Andy and Oliver were with her during the day, Steve would come after his shift and she was not sure about who was there at night.

One night Lisa came to see her. Holly was curled up in the chair by the bed and in silence holding Gail's hand. She just looked at her , like she was guarding her sleep. Lisa came in and she looked surprised.

''My brother told me what happened. I couldn't believe it.''

''That she got shot?''

''No, that you married her. After all the things we said, you go and marry her.''

Holly gave her a look that Gail would be proud of.

''So, you have no trouble with the fact she was shot, you have an issue with the marriage to her?''

''Yes, you can do much better that this. You were amazing doctor, and first you went into pathology and then to dating….and marrying her…'''

''Holly, she is just dead beat cop. You come from the nice family, you come from money, you finished medicine and your residency in best hospitals….Best doctors ever wanted to work with you and you said no and went into pathology. Yes, you made name in the field, but even when you got the chance for some huge project, you said no, because of her. You could have been in LA for next five years, doing something you love, but nooo… you choose to stay here for the cop. She is just a cop.''

''Are you done?''

''Yes..''

''Now, leave…''

''Holly…''

''NOW! Or I shall call security and ask them to escort you out of my….Gail's room…''

''That is not Holly I know…''

''No, this is the person I always was. I never cared about my family's money. I was always very simple and modest person. I loved Gail because she is the same. Her family is big police family and they are connected almost as much as my family is, but she didn't care about it. She loves being a ''beat up cop'' as you refer to her.''

Lisa laughed to her face.

''Give me a break. You fell for that crap?! No one with connections would work the streets.''

''She wants to work the streets. She doesn't want to be the office mouse. She loves what it brings. As much as I love my job. I know you could never understand how someone with my money and connection could pick pathology, but I loved it from the first moment.''

''Holly, you could have been whatever you wanted to be, but you picked something that is not productive. You earn in a year what I earn in less than five months.''

''Maybe, but I love my job Lisa and I'm not in it for the money.''

''Working with dead is so much fun?''

''It can be. It is amazing feeling to give some families closure, to solve a murder, to solve the puzzle of human life. It is big Lisa.''

''You are an idiot Holly! You could have had millions…''

''But I have dignity and a soul.''

''And I don't?''

''Not for a long time…''

''What are you saying?''

''You broke up with me the moment I told you I took residency in pathology. I was not the person who could measure up to your spending criteria. I told you I will not ask my parents for money. I told you I wanted to live from my earning.''

''Why would you? Your parents swim in money…''

''It's their money. It's not mine. I didn't want that. I wanted my own money.''

''You never loved me enough Holly to change…''

''And you? Did you love me enough to be with me for me, not money?''

Their conversation was interrupted by Gail.

''Am I in hell?''

''No, why?''

''Because I think I hear Dr. Boobjob…''

''She is just on her way out….''

Lisa left and finally Gail was alone with Holly. She opened her eyes and found her sitting in the chair beside the bed.

''You are here….''

''I am.''

''It's nice to see you Holly…''

''It's nice to see you too….''

''I was so scared when I heard what happened…''

''I'm fine Holly. Soon I will leave this place and enjoy recovering.''

''Do you need anything?''

''Can you be there when I wake up?''

''Sure Gail…''

And she remained true to her word. She was there when Gail woke up.

''I thought I was dreaming last night.''

''No, I'm here… I've been here for days Gail…''

''You were?''

''Yes… I was there when you died and came back…''

Gail heard she crashed at the surgery and in the room. She couldn't believe it.

''Wow, that is intense….''

''I know.''

Nurse came and helped Gail out of bed.

''Ms. Peck, it's time to try to walk.''

Gail and nurse walked a bit and she got her back to her room. She sat on her bed and said to the nurse that she would love to take a shower.

''I must see with a doctor.''

''O.K. I'll let you know.''

She left the room and left them alone. Holly was thinking about good conversation starters, but it was not working. Nurse came and told Gail she could take a shower. She got off the bed and started walking to the bathroom. It was hard for her to walk alone. Holly followed her and found her sitting on the floor. Her head was in her hands and she seemed so said and helpless.

''I can't stand… I can't stand by myself…And I feel so dirty. I need to take a shower…I can't stand being this weak and useless...''

Gail was crying on the floor. Holly locked the room and came back to the bathroom. She opened the shower curtain and adjusted the water. She helped Gail off the floor and started stripping her. She also took off her things and they were naked again in front of each other after almost a month.

''What are you doing?''

''Helping you take a shower. You can't stand, but I can hold you…''

''You don't have to do it…''

''I know. I just want to….''

''Really?''

''Yes…''

And she did. She held her during entire shower. It was weird to be naked with Holly like that. There was nothing sexual about that shower, but it was very intimate. She wiped and dressed Gail and got her back to bed. Then she returned to the bathroom to get dressed herself. Gail was very grateful to Holly. Holly unlocked the room and got back to the chair by the bed. Suddenly Gail remembered something.

''My chain is missing.''

Holly opened her bag and got the chain out of she purse.

''Here it is…''

''You have it?''

''Yes, they have it to me since you listed me as your spouse…''

''Oh…''

''Yes…. I had the same reaction…''

Gail blushed.

''I'm sorry for that night Gail. If I knew… I would have sent the world to hell….and I would have said yes…''

''You would…?''

''Yes, I would…''

Gail was not expecting that. She didn't expect even for Holly to be there. She screwed up a lot for Holly to let her get away with it. She knew she hurt her a lot.

''Why would you want to marry me? I'm not worthy…I am not a good person.''

''You are amazing person and I would be honored to be your wife. ''

Gail smiled at her.

''So, are we engaged now?''

''I don't know… Are we?''

''I would love us to be…''

Gail took Holly's hand and pulled her up to the bed with her.

''I love you Holly. I'm sorry for what I've done.''

''It's my fault too.''

''I really screwed up.''

Holly kissed her and all felt so much better. Gail broke the kiss and took the chain. She put it around Holly's neck.

''Keep it around your neck till the moment for the real proposal comes or it's time to make it official.''

Holly put the finger on Gail's mouth. She took the ring and put it on her finger.

''I don't need anything else but you. Some fancy place will not make us less in love and wiling to work on this. I want to be your wife Gail and I want you to believe in us. I love you so much.''

''I love you too.''

Holly couldn't believe Gail was back in her life and that they were engaged. Gail wanted to marry her and she felt so honored and proud.

''I love you so much. I don't want to go thrugh that hell again Gail. I was so afraid.''

''I know. I'm so sorry.''

They kissed again and that kiss was interrupted by Steve who brought some food.

''Hello… It seems you are back on?''

''Yes, we are and we are engaged…''

''YES! Finally, little sis…''

''We were only dating for three months.''

''I know but you seem to be working pretty well. Sometimes you just know from the very start.''

Gail smiled at Holly.

''Yes, you do…''


	4. Chapter 4

A week later Gail was out of hospital. Holly took some time off to take care of her. Dove and Chris were working double shifts most of the time and Holly didn't want her to be alone all the time. Gail loved being at Holly's house. It smelled of vanilla incents and it was full of things ''Holly'' and she missed that. Holly made her big lunch and brought it to her. Gail was on the bed rest for few more days and she didn't want to be in bed all the time. She did, but not alone and definitely not resting, if you get the hint. She wanted to have crazy sex with Holly all over the place and she wanted to see when they could finally get married. But Holly had different idea. She wanted to make sure Gail was in perfect health before they did anything. She let Gail kiss her few times, but she was very strict on her only kissing rule. Gail was recovering, but also becoming very frustrated. One night it reached a weird point. Holly was in the kitchen making dinner for them and some of Gail's friends that were coming. At that point, Gail was out of bed and doing some light things. She was going to the small shop near Holly's house to buy some things, she was walking with Holly every night for an hour, she was taking her showers by herself and didn't feel tired afterword…she was slowly getting back to Gail she was prior to the shooting. She was sitting in the barstool and drinking water when she finally asked what was bothering her.

''Holly, do you find me attractive?''

Holly was taken by surprise with this question.

''What?''

''Do you think I'm hot?''

''Where is this coming from?''

''Just answer the question….''

''Yes….I think you are hot and I do find you attractive…''

''If you do, why are you not touching me at all?''

''Gail?''

''You sleep by my side for weeks and nothing… You keep to your side of the bed, away from me…I feel so unwanted and like you are here with me just because I got hurt. I feel more like burden than lover to you.''

''I didn't want to hurt you…I want you so much, but I don't want to be the cause of more problems. You had to heal before we do anything and later I was afraid of doing something wrong. I didn't want you to suffer. Your injuries are something people die of. I know, because they often end up on my table and I work on them. I had picture of you dead in my head all the time Gail. I would wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure you are alive. I still do that Gail….I just didn't want to hurt you love…''

''This hurts me more… I miss you and I need you Holly…''

''I need you too, but you need to feel better.''

''I do… I will not brake if you make love to me….''

Holly turned towards the counter and finished making dinner. It had to be in the oven for forty five minutes and that was the estimate when their guests would arrive. She put it in and stepped out of the kitchen towards Gail. She took her hand and led her to their bedroom. She took her to bed and she started kissing her and undressing her slowly. Gail's heart was beating so fast. She was so nervous and excited.

''Are you O.K.? Do you want me to stop?''

''Yes… I'm fine… I'm perfect…. Keep going.''

In record time, Holly had her naked and begging for more. She missed being with Gail. She missed feeling the woman with her entire body, but what she missed the most was looking into Gail's eyes when they made love. Gail's eyes went a bit darker and they would be so warm and deeper than usual.

''I love you Holly…''

''I love you too…''

They didn't have time to cuddle or for Gail to return the favor. It was late and their guests would be there at any minute.

''Go shower babe and I'll go back to finish dinner.''

Holly kissed her and went down to the kitchen. Gail still couldn't move from the bed. She had stupid smile on her face and she was just feeling…happy… She took a shower and changed into jeans and Holly's red shirt. She loved it on her and she loved wearing her after Holly. She loved enjoying the smell of Holly with the perfume she always used. She put on some makeup and fixed her hair. She wanted to look presentable. She heard Oliver, Steve, Celery and Tracy at the door. Oliver was the first to ask about her.

''Where is my little Peck?''

''She is getting dressed. I believe she is thinking about what to put on for her first dinner out of PJs….''

''Oh, I didn't know we were formal tonight…''

''No formal things… I'm guessing jeans and something she stole from my closet…''

After Holly said that, Gail emerged at the stairs…

''Oh, it's alive…. Hello my little Peck… I see good doctor is taking care of all your needs….''

They blushed….

''Peck, go back to the bathroom and cover that hicky…''

''Yes, sir…''

Oliver gave Holly a look and she blushed…

''I'm guessing that engagement was consumed a bit before we came…''

''I'll return to the kitchen…''

Steve was not feeling very good about the conversation they just had. It was clear to him that his sister is a very sexual person, but he didn't need to hear about it. Gail came back to the dining room just as Sam and Andy arrived. Dove and Chris were coming late since they had a later shift and Chloe came without them. She was sitting with Andy and talking too much for Gail's liking. Gail got off the sofa and went to the kitchen to help Holly.

''Go back. You should not be working love…''

''I can't listen to her… If I stay there, you will have to hide her body later….''

Holly smiled at her and kissed her.

''You are insane…''

''Maybe…But you still love me…''

''I do. I love you… Now, go back there and be nice….''

''That's not fair…''

''Go back!''

Gail went back to the living room and sat with Oliver.

''Hey, did Holly kick you out of the kitchen?''

''She told me to spend time with all of you…''

''What a bitch! She sent you to be with old bad us…''

When Oliver started this, all of the other people had to be part of it…

''Hey, I'm her brother and she doesn't like to see me. When I would come and visit, she would kick me out as soon as Holly comes home from work.''

Sam was next…

''You are lucky… She promised to kick by but if I keep Holly longer in the lab because she wants her home every day at five….''

''She feeds me Swarek…. She comes home with my lunch…''

Holly came from the kitchen and hit her with a towel…

''That is the only reason you want me home early? Food?''

Gail hung her head…

''No, I miss you when you are not around….You know I love when you are at home with me…''

There was a collective

''Awwww..'''

''I miss you too Gail…''

Holly kissed her and Gail deepened the kiss…

''I'm going to be sick….Who knew our little heartless Peck could be so mushy and sweet…. Oh… ''

Gail broke the kiss and hit Oliver…

''Sop it Oliver!''

''What did I say that was wrong or a lie? You are mushy with our good doctor… She introduced us to a new side of you. I like it…''

He hugged her.

''I love you my little Peck.''

''I am not so sure I love you now Oliver…''

Holly got the food on the table and called them to eat. Sam and Tracy started the conversation at the table by asking Holly about some evidence. Gail had it…

''No! NO! You don't get to do that… She is at home, we are eating dinner and I don't want to talk about work and what MORE she has to do… She has been coming home late for days and eating herself alive for being late and leaving me home alone. When she gets to bed, she falls asleep in the middle of the sentence and she wakes up at the crack of dawn so she could make me something to eat and make sure I have all I need before she leaves and I have to be alone for the day. Yes, Steve came, Tracy came, Oliver and Celery came… And it was all fine, but I want her to have some piece and quiet. I have been living with her for four weeks… We didn't spend two days in total together… She talks about the cases in her sleep; she apologizes for not being efficient. I'm so done with it. You don't get to call her with something work related after her shift ends. After that she is mine. I have to share her at work, but after work, she is MINE…. Here, she is your friend's girlfriend not a pathologist on your cases… At home, we are not officers, detectives or doctors… Are we clear?!''

There was a short period of silence. Holly smirked and the rest was stunned by what Gail just said. Tracy looked at her surprised by what she said.

''Gail, young woman is missing… We have to do all we can.''

''Tracy, I get it…but she is not the only one working there. I don't get to see my fiancée. I want to spend time with her. I need her at home and with me. After work hours, her phone is dead for all of you unless it's an invitation to Penny or other place. Work is not an option. She needs to rest and have some time just for herself. She is a super nerd, I agree she is better than many, but I think she needs time for herself too. ''

Tracy looked at Holly, waiting for her to back her up.

''I agree with Gail. I'm so tired and sometimes I have no idea what am I doing. I'm so tired Tracy. I agree it is important, but this is not just our case. There are more officers and people on it. All of us should work, not just us. This case is priority to the division, but she is mine. I haven't spent time with her. I need to be with her too. I can't live at work.''

''But the girl is missing…''

''I know. I did all I could. You know there are other people working there. I'm not the only person…''

''But…''

''I'm sorry. I can't live in the lab. I have Gail now who deserves my time and my presence. She needs me too.''

''She can manage by herself. She is not that weak anymore and she can take care of herself…''

''Tracy… She…''

''If she can survive you fucking her, she can survive to be home alone and making something to eat….''

All of their friends lowered their gazes so they wouldn't have to look at their friends. Tracy put down her fork and napkin.

''She still needs help.''

''Well, what can I say… I guess we were lucky she was not too tired to work when you were taken Gail… Lucky us that you have mom and dad who will keep us all at work when something is wrong with you… Who cared about young black girl from the shelter….''

Then she looked at Holly…

''I would expect from her to be this selfish, but never form you.''

With that she left the table and Holly's house. They were all very uncomfortable. Steve took his things and headed for the door.

''I need to find her. Good night…''

After he left, there was that silence where you were even bothered by the sound of forks, knives and glasses. Oliver was first to break the silence.

''Food is amazing Holly. You must cook more often…''

She smiled at him.

''She will be fine. She is just too invested in that case.''

Gail kept quiet. She left the table and went to their bedroom. Holly found her crying on the floor.

''Babe, what is going on?''

''Am I selfish for wanting to be with you all the time?''

''No, because I want it too…''

''Sometimes I don't care about our cases. I just want a normal us time…''

''I know. I want it too…''

''How could she say that?''

Holly held her trying to figure out what to say. Tracy was right. She was working extra hours because Gail's family pressured Holly's boss… But on the other hand, she mentioned the night Gail's personal hell started. She never got over the guilt for Jerry's death. She never forgave herself for being responsible for Tracy staying without husband two days before the wedding. She never got over the feeling of owing Tracy whatever she wanted, and Holly knew how much Tracy's words hurt her.

''After this case is done, I'm taking you out of town for few days. No phones, no computers…Just us… What do you say.''

''I say yes…''

After Gail fell asleep, Holly went back to the lab. She worked all night, but still couldn't find anything. Whoever took the girl covered their tracks well. She just found one lead. She found some hair on the duct tape and it had sheep hair on it. Her guess was that person worked there or the victim was there… She left her findings on Tracy's desk and left without words. Tracy tried to say something.

''Holly….''

''No, not now… Some other time…. I can't now…''

She got home and packed their bag. She woke Gail up and told her to get ready.

''We are leaving baby… Ten days out of town… What do you think?''

'' I love it…''


	5. Chapter 5

Gail woke up after taking a nap on a beautiful beach in Mexico. She got up from her sun bed and noticed that the bed beside her is empty. Holly must be in the water…. She took a sip of ice cold lemonade that was brought when she was waking up and she took off her sundress so she would join her wife…yes, wife. She still couldn't believe they did it and that it all happened in twenty minutes. She smiled to the memory of how their wedding came to be.

_Holly woke her up and told her to get ready. She packed some things in two suitcases and got Gail to her apartment to pick up her passport. Dove and Chris were asleep so they had no idea Gail was there and that she took anything from the apartment. Holly was very responsible traveler, so she made sure to be at the airport much earlier than it is necessary. They were driving by the courthouse and they stopped at the traffic light. Gail took Holly's hand, looked at her and looked at the court house. _

''_Wanna do it now Stewart?''_

_She didn't expect Holly to do anything impulsive. She believed she would give her long list of reasons why getting married like that was wrong, but she was the one who was wrong. Holly made wrong turn and got to the parking._

''_Ready?''_

_Gail smiled at her and left the car. They got all the papers in few minutes and fifteen minutes later, Gail became Mrs. Stewart. Holly was surprised Gail took her last name and gave the Peck up so easily. Holly was ready to add Gail's last name, but she said no._

''_I want a clean slate… And that often means dropping the Peck ways…. Let's just stick to the Stewart ….''_

''_I don't think that being Peck is wrong. I think that you see it as burden. I want you to be happy… I love you Gail…Stewart…''_

''_I love you too.''_

_Gail kissed her wife and they went to the airport._

Holly was in the water and she waved at Gail to join her. It took Gail few minutes to get in and then she swam to her wife. Holly greeted her with a long kiss and a very happy face.

''Did you have a nice nap?''

''Yes, I had an amazing nap… I dreamed we were married….''

''Hm… That sounds like amazing dream.''

''It was… And I don't want to wake up from it…''

''I hear you Mrs. Stewart…''

''I can't wait to see their faces when I come to ask for a new name tag…''

''Are you sure about changing the name? I don't mind adding your last name Gail… It mattered to you to be Peck.''

''It did, but I don't care about it anymore… I love you Nerd…And as I said.. I want a fresh start. I want to be Stewart. I want to be your wife Nerd. I'm so proud of you…''

Holly kissed her wife again and she realized she was not that happy and peaceful for a long time. She smiled at Gail and just pulled her closer.

''You'll brake my bones Nerd…''

''Shut up!''

Gail did what Holly said and they just stood like that. Holly needed to feel her close.

''Nerd, how about we go back to the room and we can do this without water and bathing suits…''

''I love your idea…Mrs. Stewart…''

They went back to their room and made love. Gail told her she feels like teenager doing something forbidden and wrong.

''You are my wife… Nothing is forbidden and wrong… You hear me?''

''Yes, I do…''

Gail fell asleep on top of Holly. Holly couldn't sleep. All of the sudden, so many feelings were resurfacing inside of her. She was so happy Gail was alive and with her. She was a woman of science, but she was grateful to some higher power for Gail and her being ok. She played with Gail's fingers and she touched her rings… Small smile appeared on her face….

_Holly felt bad because she didn't have ring for Gail. Gail used the ring she proposed with as a wedding ring and Holly felt bad for Gail's bare finger. They checked in their bags and Gail went to the ladies room and to bring them something to eat. Holly was left with few minutes on her hands. She saw a jewelry shop and she decided to find a ring for Gail. She deserved the best, but she also knew Gail couldn't have some big ring. It was not hard to find a ring for Gail. She didn't like anything but simple rings, so Holly got her a white gold band and very simple engagement ring with small black diamond. It was discrete and it would be perfect on Gail's hand. Gail came back with two bags of food and pretty angry face._

''_Who got you that angry?''_

''_Stupid!''_

''_What was it love?''_

''_Some guys were checking you out….''_

''_And?''_

''_They said you were nice piece of ass and they tossed the coin who will come to talk to you…''_

_Holly loved jealous Gail. She didn't care about the guys and things they said… She heard it all. They were not first to comment her and think how to come on to her. _

''_Oh, baby… Get used to it… People do it all the time… I ignore it…''_

''_Would you ignore it if someone hit on me?''_

''_Honestly, until you show interest in the other person, I would ignore it… But if you like them, I would react… And, we know I can't hurt them as much as you can baby…''_

_She smiled at Holly…_

''_You are right… I can be much worse than you.''_

_She smiled at their food. Leave it to Gail to be distracted by the food on the plate in front of her._

''_I'm so hungry… We didn't have breakfast before we left…''_

''_We were in the rush…''_

''_We didn't have time to eat, but we had time to get married…That's so us…''_

_Holly was smiling with her eyes too._

''_You are so beautiful Dr. Stewart… And I'm so in love with you.''_

''_So am I…. I have something for you my beloved wife….''_

_Gail grinned at the ''wife'' word._

_Holly got out ring box and opened it for Gail. She first slid the engagement ring and than the wedding band. _

''_I think you deserve it my love…''_

''_It's beautiful Holly…''_

''_Just like you wanted it. Simple and perfect.''_

_Gail got up and sat by her wife._

''_Holly, you are a dream come true… I never felt so loved and happy before. You complete me and that makes me feel strong and weak at the same time… Don't ever leave me love…''_

''_I promise to stay forever and love you each day of my life Gail… Even when you get on my last nerve I will love you…''_

''_Wow… That was honest…''_

''_You are pain in the butt…''_

''_And you love me…''_

''_I do…''_

_They kissed and when Gail opened her eyes, she noticed those men who were talking about Holly. They looked surprised with what they saw. Yap, Holly was taken…and by a girl…''_

_Holly cupped Gail's face and made sure that two of them see the wedding ring on her finger. She was sending the message to the world that she was not just taken but that she was married. _

Gail woke up to see Holly looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

''Nerd, for how long have you been staring at me?''

''I lost count… I just know I can't stop looking at you… You are here, alive and married to me. I'm afraid I will wake up and it would all be just a dream.''

''I know the feeling…''

Gail cuddled up to Holly.

''I fear the same things you do. I want to be like this forever. Far from the rest of the world. Just us… Happy, naked….''

''I love being happy and naked with you…. Wifey….''

They made love again enjoying every moment they had.

_While at home…._

Tracy came to the mourge early in the morning to see if Holly found something more about the girl and the evidence found at the scene. Instead of Holly, Dr. Mars was in the lab.

''Good morning, is Dr. Steward around?''

''No, she is not here…''

''Is she on the scene?''

''No, I have no idea where she is, but from what I gathered… she took her vacation days and she is not here.''

She was surprised to hear that in the middle of the investigation Holly would pick up and decide to take time off. She got into her car ant went to Holly's house. She was surprised to see that her car was gone. She knocked and rung the bell, but no one answered. She called Steve and asked him to call Gail or Holly. He called them but their phones were off.

''I can't believe they took off…''

''Why? They wanted to do it when Gail recovers…''

''We have a girl missing…''

''And twelve people working the case.''

''But I needed her…''

''So did Gail and we know who would she pick.''

''Yes, but…''

''Tracy, they need this time off. They need to mend their broken peace.''

''Victim needs her too…''

''Maybe, but she has other people and there is only one Gail and Holly…''

''I can't believe you are defending them…''

''I am not. But I get it. They need time to build their relationship again. She almost died on Holly… Holly is not able to be rational. She almost lost her…''

''I got back to work after Jerry. I picked up myself alone… I made it knowing I lost someone who was such a big part of me…''

''I know. I was there. I was one of your friends and I was the one who had to watch you and Gail fall apart every time memories hunt you. I know it all. She still hasn't forgiven herself for Jerry's death and the fact she is the one he gave his life for. She is broken in so many ways and Holly put her together. Don't make her crack again.''

''What about me? Who will mend me?''

''I will…''

''Steve…''

''What?''

Before she said anything his phone rung.

''Hi, mom…No…I don't know where she is… Tracy told me she and Holly were not at home. She said Holly took some time off…''

Steve rolled his eyes at things his mother said. Tracy could only imagine what she was saying.

''I'll try to find her mother…. I will call her.''

He hung up the phone.

''Supermom is looking for Gail. She is not answering her phone.''

Tracy looked at him curious.

''Where is Gail?''

''No idea Tracy…''

''Do you think something happened to them?''

''No, I think they are fine…. They just wanted to be alone…''

''Our little Gail grew up and found herself a partner.''

Tracy went with Sam to the crime scene and she spent most of the day away from the station. Dr. Mars called her and told her that he found some things to help them with the case. Few hours later they found the girl. Tracy was so relived and happy. Girl came back to her family after almost two weeks missing. That night when she came home, she locked herself in the room and she opened her Jerry box. Those were memories she buried after he died… She missed him a lot. She felt like she died the day he died.


	6. Chapter 6

Late Sunday evening, Holly and Gail returned to Holly's house. They were starting work tomorrow and none of them wanted to go back to that hell. They wanted few more minutes of being together and somewhere far from real life. Mexico was perfect destination for honeymoon and for getting Holly's nerdy side. She made Gail go with her to sightseeing and she returned the favor in the sheets so Gail never complained about going somewhere. Her health was getting better and she was learning to accept her new imperfections on the body. She had ugly scars, but Holly made her love and learn to accept her body. Gail was happy in this new bubble she and Holly made, but she was afraid how it would be when the reality hits them hard on the head. Gail was in the bathroom and Holly was already in the bed. Tomorrow they had an early shift and none of them was happy.

''Gail, are you coming to bed?''

''In a minute…''

Gail left the bathroom and turned off the light.

''I so do not want to go to work.''

''I know love.''

They cuddled up and fell asleep. They had six hours to rest and then the crazy week of long shifts starts. Morning came too soon. Holly got out of the bed first and took a shower. She got dressed and woke Gail up. Gail was very sad to leave the bed but she went to get ready and Holly made them coffee and breakfast. After they were done, Gail put dishes in the washing machine and Holly poured coffee into their cups and got them to the car. Gail locked the house and got into the car.

''Ready Babe?''

''As ready as I can be…''

Holly drove her to the station and it took Gail few minutes to get out. She kissed Holly and left the car.

''See you tonight.''

''See you love.''

Gail got into the station and the locker room. She had ten minutes to get ready and get to the parade. Oliver was not looking very happy when she saw him this morning talking to some white shirts. She changed and got her gun and west when Andy came in.

''Hey. It's nice to have you back.''

''It's not that nice to be back, but… I had to… My time off was only few weeks.''

''You look amazing.''

''Holly and I took some time off and traveled.''

''Somewhere nice I see. In this snow and winter, there is no way you could get that tan…''

''Mexico… She took me to Mexico….''

''Nice… I hate you…''

''I know that…''

Gail stood in front of her locker mirror fixing her hair. It grew a bit so now she could get it into small pony, just like when she was a rookie… New inches, new beginnings…. Andy saw the ring and started jumping and yelling…

''Shut up! Shut up! Oh, my God!''

Tracy, Chloe and other girls in the room run towards them. Tracy looked at Andy worried.

''Are you O.K.?''

''I am… Gail is married…''

They all looked at Andy as like she was crazy.

''What?''

''Peck is married…''

Tracy looked at her like she was crazy.

''Andy, where did you get that idea?''

''Her ring finger…''

Now they all looked at Gail. She put her hands in the pockets and left the room. At parade they all tried to see if she really had a ring. Oliver noticed that no one paid attention to him.

''McNally, is there something you would love to share with us so I can go back to work?''

''Gail is married…''

Oliver seemed surprised but then he smiled…

''So, do I have to order new name tag officer…''

''It will be Stewart… I am Officer Stewart now…''

''Well, I wish you all the best…. Your assignments are on the board and that's it…''

She got up and saw she was riding with Nick that day. She picked up her bag and put it in the car. First few minutes they were silent. Gail noticed he was looking at her direction.

''Just say it and let's get it over with…''

''You are really married?''

''Yes, I am really married…''

''To doctor Stewart?''

''Yes, to her…''

''Are you happy?''

''Very much…''

''That's all I wanted to know…''

The rest of the ride was less tensed. They talked about what happened when she was away.

''You mother will be pissed when she learns you got married and you gave up the Peck name…''

''She will, but I don't care… I can't anymore…I'm so tired of her. She really messed me up.''

''She is mama Peck for a reason…''

''She was never mama… ''

Nick felt that there is something more than anger in her voice.

''She never showed me love, she never did anything mothers do. Most maternal thing she did was give birth.''

''I'm sorry to hear that.''

Gail smiled at Nick…

''You know, there was time when we were dating I really envied you for not having a family.''

''That is sad Gail.''

''That is how I felt.''

''With parents like yours, I can understand the feeling.''

They got the call about some domestic disturbance and answered it. By the time they got there, they found a wife pretty beaten up and husband in the pool of blood. Apparently wife had it and she stabbed him with pair of scissors she found during the beating. Dead body meant that someone from Holly's office might come. Few minutes later Holly entered the room.

''Officers, what do we have?''

''Male, Caucasian, in his forties multiple stabbing with the pair of scissors that are still inside of him.''

''And the wife?''

''She is the one who stabbed him.''

Holly looked at us and then at her…

''Oh…''

''Yes, apparently he used her as a punching bag. Ambulance is on the way. We think she should see a doctor.''

Holly examined the body, gave her preliminary findings and then said that body can be taken to the morgue. She got off the floor and went to the wife. She took another pair of gloves and took pictures of the injuries and then she helped clean her up.

''You will need some stiches… But I guess that is not the news to you…''

''Twenty years…It's been happening for twenty years, but today I had it… He hurt our son…''

Gail and Nick looked at each other. They didn't see anyone else in the house.

''Where is he?''

''I told him to leave the house when he started beating me… He is only eleven….''

Gail remembered that they were told a child made a call.

''He must be somewhere around here. I think he called the Police.''

''That is possible. He told Tom he would.''

Ambulance came and took woman to the hospital. Gail, Nick and Holly stayed behind looking around. House seemed like one of those you see in decorating magazines. It had beautiful garden, pool and all it takes to mask the real story behind the walls.

''I would always believe ritch people are happy…''

Holly smiled at him..

''Only few of them…''

''It's good to be broke…''

''You are not broke Nickolas.''

''Are you sure Gail?''

''Yes, I am… You have your money from the Army and you have money at the end of the month.''

''Yes, but never enough for house like this and all the toys they have.''

Gail looked around. House was full of things anyone with less money than this family would want. Killer surround system, big TV, garage full of expensive cars, jewelry to die for , art… They all were impressed but Holly.

''What is it Holls? You don't seem impressed…''

''I grew up in a place like this. I was just lucky my parents liked each other.''

''I can understand it. We didn't have this much, but I guess we had plenty.''

She turned to Nick.

''House like that broke me Nick. I had no one in it. My parents were to busy building their career as lawyers. They had each other, but forgot about me. I skipped few grades; they had no idea about it. Yes, now I have big trust fund and all, but I don't have anything more form my parents but money.''

''Are they alive?''

''Yes, they are. They live in France. They moved their offices there. They still work and now they have one or two clients and gain a lot of money of them.''

Nick saw her differently after things she told them.

''Do they know you are…?''

''Gay? Yes they do. They found out in a way they would never doubt it.''

Holly had an evil smile and Gail realized that story Holly told her about being caught was story about the parents.

''Oh, my God ! It was them?! The kitchen?''

''Yes, it was them…''

She turned to Nick.

''I had sex with my first girlfriend in the kitchen. They were not supposed to be home. Long story short, they saw us…''

''Oh, so not what parents would like to see.''

''I agree.''

''Well we all have story about being caught…''

''Gail never sheared hers…''

''Which one? She has a few…''

''Nickolas, don't you dare!''

Holly looked at them…

''Oh, two of you…?''

''Yes, few times…''

''It's time to leave… I might kill him if he speaks again… See you at home Holly…''

She kissed her wife and pushed Nick out of the door. Holly smiled and looked at them… Gail was really insane. She would have to ask later about that being caught. Gail now has to tell her. She told her. It's the only fair thing to do. Holly went back to do the autopsy and she didn't find anything she didn't expect. He was in a good form, he had expensive watch and wedding ring, he was taking pain meds with alcohol and his knuckles indicated he was hitting someone.

Gail and Nick found a boy not very far from the house. They found his aunt who took him in. Ms. Cole was a doctor and she was very surprised to hear about her brother's death, but she was not that surprised about the beatings and the fact her sister in law killed him.

''I knew it would end up like that. It's my father's fault. He thought them to treat women like that. My mother died of the injuries caused by one of the ''falls'' but no one did anything. When my father died, I was relived. I felt free. But, then my brother started the abuse.''

''You never reported it?''

''My dad's friend is chief of police. It would never be processed.''

''He knew about it?''

''Of course he did. He knew it all.''

Gail was now a little disappointed at her good father.

''Could he stay with you?''

''Sure. I can take him. He is my blood after all.''

One of the doctors told them that Mrs. Cole is patched up, but he would love to keep her for an observation a bit longer. Oliver sent rookie Moure to sit in front of the room and make sure she doesn't escape. Gail knew that escape would be difficult with her injuries, but she liked seeing Gerald, as she called him, busy. After the shift, Gail couldn't wait to get home to Holly. She still had to talk to her about where would they leave and when could she move her things into Holly's place or somewhere else. When she got home, Holly was already there making dinner.

''Hi love.''

''Hey Nerd…''

Gail gave her a quick kiss and went to bedroom to change. When she got into her swets and shirt, she got down.

''It smells amazing.''

''Thank you.''

''Holly, I was thinking… Where are we going to live?''

''Here? Or do you want to move?''

''I like it here, but I wouldn't mind moving…''

''House in the suburbs?''

''Like the one today?''

''Maybe? Why not babe?''

''That is expensive…''

''What if I told you we already have it…and it's empty…''

''How do we have it?''

''It was my parent's house… We can keep the apartment too…But there we have five bedrooms, big yard and plenty of space for kids and all we want.''

''Are you saying that you want to have children with me?''

''Yes, I am…''

''Well, I married you and did all I never imagined doing. Living in a fancy neighborhood is one more thing I never believed I would do. So, Nerd, let's do it…''

Holly called her friend and she told her to put her apartment on the market in two weeks. She and Gail had some things to do before they move into the house. Gail was very excited to see the house on Saturday and to plan decorating it with her wife. Now, they were real couple with big house, potential dog and children in their future. Past Gail was choking on her drinks on that thought, new one, loves every single moment of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Moving into the new house was so much fun. Gail and Holly kept it on the low and they wanted to enjoy every moment of it. But as it usually goes with what Gail wants, she didn't really get what she wanted. Andy heard her in the locker room talking to Holly and few moments later, they all knew they were moving somewhere. After the morning meeting with some of superior officers, Oliver invited her into his office.

''I have something for you…''

He handed her a small box and inside was a new name tag. Stewart, she loved it…

''So, little birdy told me you are moving….''

''Oh, so now you talk to birds? Oliver, you should keep that to yourself….I bet superintendent would love to know one of her senior officers is talking to birds…''

Oliver smiled at her. He loved how amazing and quick she was. Gail Peck was an officer he was so proud off. She grew the most since the rookie time. She was married to an amazing woman. She was doing so well at work and she was becoming the best cop she could be…and all that without her mother's support.

''O.K. Smart move… Andy told me you are moving…''

''Yes, we are…''

''Where?''

When she told him Oliver gave her a look she never saw before. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were vide open.

''WHAT? How can you afford that? I know Holly earns more than you but still…''

''Holly has a house there…''

''Already?''

''Yes, it's the place where she grew up…''

''So, little Peck married an uptown girl?''

''Yes… No…. I had no idea where she lived…''

''If you say so…''

That weekend all of Gail's friends came to their apartment to help them move and settle after in the house. Oliver told them that they were moving and few minutes later, they were already making planes about helping. Holly came to the station to pick up Gail for lunch. As soon as she came, all of them gathered around her.

''We heard you were moving. We want to help.''

''Yes….Sure… O.K. You know where we live so you can….hm…. come around ten in the morning….''

McNally and Chloe were skipping how happy they were. Dove, Chris and Oliver were very curious what does their new place look like and how will the day go. Celery was in too. She promised to bring them junk food and that was big coming from a healthy food freak. They all cheered and were so happy and Gail wanted them dead in so many different cruel ways. That was supposed to be hers and Holly's thing. It was their moving in and putting things away process and they ruined it for her. Sometimes Gail really hated how nice Holly was to her friends. They knew how to take advantage of it. They wanted the way in into the house and Holly couldn't say no. Gail hated her at that moment. Chloe and Andy waved at them and left to have lunch.

''You have to learn to say no.''

She smirked at her.

''Do I?''

''Oh, shut up Holly…''

''I love you too…''

They had lunch in a small restaurant near the station and Gail got back to work an hour later. They had work until four and after that they were off. Holly picked her up at the station and they went shoping. Gail was getting better with her health so she got back to her crazy eating habbits. Holly was working on getting her to eat better, but it was not working that well for her. Gail was not ready to give up all the junk she ate.

''Gail…''

''Yes?''

''Today is a special date…''

''It is love…''

''Happy three weeks of marriage…''

Gail took her hand and kissed it.

''I love you so much…''

''I love you too baby… We should go out somewhere special…''

''We should?''

''Yes, and we shout refresh your memory how two women get ready for the date…''

''You'll never drop that?''

''No, it was one of the cutest moments…''

''You kissed me…''

''You were asking stupid things…''

''I DID NOT!''

''You did, but it was so cute…''

''I hate you…''

Holly kissed her when they were at the traffic light. She loved how Gail changed and how she became more relaxed. She and Holly decided to have dinner at small Italian place they loved. Holly took pasta with shells and Gail took lasagna. She even had some vine with Holly. She wanted to make sure she gives Holly no more reasons to tease her. They got their food and started eating. Holly's food was amazing. She loved it spicy and exotic, almost as her women. Holly thought about her life and choices she made and she was happy. At some point it was not easy, but she was happy now and wouldn't change much about her life. She was married to a very special woman she loved more than life and she was finally where she wants to be. She has finally home of her own. For years she watched her friends go home to someone and she was always greeted by empty apartment and silence. Even when she dated some of the girls, she never felt ''home'' with them. She lived with Anna for two years and it still wasn't ''home''. With Gail she felt it even before they dated. Gail was ''home'' from the moment in the batting cages or even before that. And now she finally had it and knew what home is. It's not a place, it's a person and Gail (Peck) Stewart was hers. She smiled and Gail noticed she is deep in thought.

''Are you O.K nerd?''

''Yes, I'm more than O.K.''

''Where were you just few seconds ago?''

''Thinking how lucky I am to have you.''

Gail smiled and blushed. She was still not used to hear nice things from someone. Her mother was someone who hurt her a lot and made her feel bad about many things in life. She was feeling so bad and so low that she believed she would never have a day when she was happy about herself. And then she met her wife. Meeting Holly Stewart stirred things in Gail's life, but changed it for the better. Gail became better person with Holly and she became more loving and caring in that relationship. Even when she was being a meany with her friends, they now knew that Gail had their back and that she cares. She loved Holly very much and that love made her change a lot of things she didn't love about herself.

''I think I'm the lucky one Holly… You are my everything….''

Holly smiled at her wife and took her hand.

''We are both lucky then…''

And Gail could live with it. After the dinner Holly took her to the late showing of the move they wanted to see. It was very romantic. They sheared the candy and very large Coke. At first Gail didn't want to share her food, but then she changed her mind. She loved Holly's pouting and when she was sucking up to her. After getting home, Gail got her to the bedroom and started stripping her wife. Holly smiled at her and kissed Gail's lips.

''This is my favorite time of the day….''

''When we are about to have sex?''

''No, when we are about to go to bed together… I worked so many crazy shifts and we spent so little time together recently that I missed this….''

''Oh…''

''But, just for the record… I love when we have sex…''

''I love it too…''

They were out of their clothing in the matter of seconds. Gail's hands were all over Holly's body and she loved how good she felt. Holly loved making love to her wife and she loved how good they were together. Holly was an experienced lover. Before Gail, there was number of ladies in her life, but before Gail, she only loved two of them. Gail was maybe not the best lover, but she was best mixture of all the things Holly wanted and needed. And above all, Gail Peck, now Stewart, was her home. She was her safe place and her shelter and escape when she needs it. Gail was napping on Holly's chest and Holly was thinking about their future…

''I can hear you think Nerd…''

…

''Have baby with me Gail…''

Gail was sitting in bed and looking at Holly with expression of horror.

''What did you say?''

''Let's have a baby…''

Gail didn't know what to say. She wanted to have children with Holly, but she was scared. _What if she fails? What if she is as bad as her mother? She didn't want her child to have same feelings for her that she had for her mother. She was not sure if she was even cut out to be a parent. She just started being better to her friends. She was not ready… But… What if….Holly stops wanting her because she is not ready to be a mother?_

''Gail?''

''I… I'm not so sure…''

Holly was surprised.

''Why?''

''I'm not cut out to be a parent. I'm bad news Holly…''

''Gail…''

''I can hurt that baby more than bring good into it's life…''

''Why do you say so?''

''Look at me! I was raised by the most insensible woman in the universe. My mother is the only mother I know…''

''So is Tracy….''

''Are you sure?''

That got Gail into thinking. Tracy was amazing mother to Leo. She loved that kid and she loved how close Tracy and him were. Her tone was less defensive. It got softer and Holly was sure she saw a faint smile.

''I do know her…''

''You do love…''

''And she is better mother than mine…In fact…she is amazing parent and I admire her a lot…''

Holly kissed her wife.

''Baby, we don't have to make any decision now. We have time…''

''Holly…. I am not sure I could ever be like Tracy or caring like you…But I believe I could do this if I do it with you. I am not cut out to be mother, but you…You are made for it. I would love to have one or two small nerds running around…''

Holly could feel her eyes getting wet…

''Are you sure?''

''Yes, I am…''

Gail had an evil smirk…

''So, let's try to get you knocked up Stewart…''

She pushed Holly back to the pillows and continued to make love to her wife. When Holly went to sleep, Gail spent some time awake thinking about the conversation they had and what came out of it. She was not ready to be a mother, but she knew how much it meant to Holly. She got out of the bed and started researching what were their options. If Holly wanted this, she was willing to get all the information she could. She will show Holly that she will be there all the way. She will be Holly's support and all that she needs.


End file.
